> Higher it is. Please, roll.The dice felt heavy in my hand, laden with the feeling that some rubicon was being stepped over in doing so. The last encounter I could, in my mind at least, pin partly on being drunk and flattered by his attentions. That distinction was important to me. It didn’t absolve me of blame, far from it, but there were extenuating factors. This was different. At every point I had get-outs, a chance to leave the game. Before Ben had been a complete stranger, but now I knew better. That was the thought that kept spinning around in my head: I know who he is now. This is my partner’s son.I shook the dice two or three times and let them loose. They bounced about the surface of my desk as though we were on the moon, seemingly in slow motion, and bouncing absurdly high. Of course, in reality they did none of these things; my senses sharpened by the stakes of the game only made it seem thus. One came to rest before the other, showing four dots in the corner and one in. I wasn't meant to be some guy's harem girl, to be passed around from bed to bed. Those who didn't make the cut had it easy. One minute they were here, the next they were gone. I envied them.I could make do with the people who killed my son or I could leave, search out another group of enhanced and end up in the same position or worse. If only I could find one person and be his only one. But that didn't happen in the old world and could never happen in this one.I looked at my baby. I'd made a mess of his hair so I fixed it. He always made sure his hair looked good.His fly was open and his penis was hanging out. I carefully tucked it back inside and buttoned him back up.He didn't look peaceful because of that angry look on his face. You poor boy, what did they do to you to make you so angry?Throughout history, fallen heroes have been sent to the next life by fire. I made a platform with the seat cushions from my couch beneath the table and emptied a can of kerosine onto it. Firewood.
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